Post by annette on Nov 16, 2010 22:28:23 GMT -7
Okay, so. The D&A Rehabilitation Group Leader-guy, told us to write a daily diary about our inner thoughts and etc. Lets leave clear that I’m only doing this to keep him out of my back… With all this said;
Hello, whomever part of myself is reading this memoir:
Its 5:45 in the morning and as always it was a sleepless night. Yeah, well it doesn’t shock me too much that I can’t sleep because of my ‘night’ schedule, so its cool. Though something curious happened to me yesterday while I was grocery shopping. YES! I was shopping for REAL food because I get to have Vicky for half a day! Isn’t that exciting or what?! I’m dying to hold my baby girl again and give her lots of kisslets all over her face… She looks so much like Cat… So beautiful with her big brown and blue eyes… Strange how genetic works huh? I hoped she came out looking exactly like Cat and Cat hoped she looked like me, but she actually has a little of me too! Its so wonderful to see us both in one little person—oh right I should explain how two women of the same sex had a child together, huh? Well its sort of complicated…. I’ll explain when I’m not so emotional… like I was s--- oh right Vicky! It just fills me with joy to my very core to know that that little piece of me and Cat loves me no matter how much I screwed up; oh but I know Cat still loves me. She called to confirm the arrangements for Wednesday and she strictly talked about Victoria, her needs and you know all that diaper ‘don’t wash her in the sink’ things, but when I told her I missed her I heard how her voice cracked up a little, and she just hung up. Women and their hostility, even though that gave some hope to my little cold heart. I know she still loves me, I just know it….
Oh, right. Drifting off. Well, I was in the grocery store, looking at this gorgeous, red apples and wondering why I was suddenly hungry for them if I never felt hunger for any ‘real’ food anymore. So I just grabbed the first two I was lusting about and put them on the cart… But suddenly I wanted the other two that where bellow! So, I took those other two and then I wanted the OTHER two in the bottom instead! Right then I knew it was something else, not the apples itself, but something else that was making me lust over them. So I crouched and used my ‘laser’ vision and simply stared at them for a while… Until I stopped liking them for some reason… it just stopped… If this seem odd to you, imagine how odd it was for me who didn’t understand what he fuck was going on! Seriously, the last bits of sanity that I thought I had, where being questioned right then.
Thankfully, I realized what the weirdness was all about as soon as I turned to continue my exploration trough the culinary facilities and saw the most beautiful, D-cup, brown eyed, red haired girl I had EVER seen. She was looking at me with the flirtiest smile ever, and I was absentmindedly looking at her reflection trough the shiny apples! But only when she moved I realized what was the real cause of my hunger.
Conclusion to this dammed and stupid tale? I realized one of the things that is wrong with me. I see only what I want to see. Not beyond the ‘apple’ to the reflection of the smiling woman…. Just like I heard Catherine’s voice cracking, but didn’t hear the real purpose of her sorrow….
Now its 6:15 am, its gonna be a sunny beautiful day and I won’t enjoy it because now, I’m too thoughtful want to go out. So I’ll crawl into my coffin and lay there in the quiet and comfortable space… And yes, I mean that literally.
Best wishes, from the most famously infamous blonde in the continent:
Annette Blundell.
(My First Red Dress)Victoria Anne & Catherine Marie Blundel-Adel
Hello, whomever part of myself is reading this memoir:
Its 5:45 in the morning and as always it was a sleepless night. Yeah, well it doesn’t shock me too much that I can’t sleep because of my ‘night’ schedule, so its cool. Though something curious happened to me yesterday while I was grocery shopping. YES! I was shopping for REAL food because I get to have Vicky for half a day! Isn’t that exciting or what?! I’m dying to hold my baby girl again and give her lots of kisslets all over her face… She looks so much like Cat… So beautiful with her big brown and blue eyes… Strange how genetic works huh? I hoped she came out looking exactly like Cat and Cat hoped she looked like me, but she actually has a little of me too! Its so wonderful to see us both in one little person—oh right I should explain how two women of the same sex had a child together, huh? Well its sort of complicated…. I’ll explain when I’m not so emotional… like I was s--- oh right Vicky! It just fills me with joy to my very core to know that that little piece of me and Cat loves me no matter how much I screwed up; oh but I know Cat still loves me. She called to confirm the arrangements for Wednesday and she strictly talked about Victoria, her needs and you know all that diaper ‘don’t wash her in the sink’ things, but when I told her I missed her I heard how her voice cracked up a little, and she just hung up. Women and their hostility, even though that gave some hope to my little cold heart. I know she still loves me, I just know it….
Oh, right. Drifting off. Well, I was in the grocery store, looking at this gorgeous, red apples and wondering why I was suddenly hungry for them if I never felt hunger for any ‘real’ food anymore. So I just grabbed the first two I was lusting about and put them on the cart… But suddenly I wanted the other two that where bellow! So, I took those other two and then I wanted the OTHER two in the bottom instead! Right then I knew it was something else, not the apples itself, but something else that was making me lust over them. So I crouched and used my ‘laser’ vision and simply stared at them for a while… Until I stopped liking them for some reason… it just stopped… If this seem odd to you, imagine how odd it was for me who didn’t understand what he fuck was going on! Seriously, the last bits of sanity that I thought I had, where being questioned right then.
Thankfully, I realized what the weirdness was all about as soon as I turned to continue my exploration trough the culinary facilities and saw the most beautiful, D-cup, brown eyed, red haired girl I had EVER seen. She was looking at me with the flirtiest smile ever, and I was absentmindedly looking at her reflection trough the shiny apples! But only when she moved I realized what was the real cause of my hunger.
Conclusion to this dammed and stupid tale? I realized one of the things that is wrong with me. I see only what I want to see. Not beyond the ‘apple’ to the reflection of the smiling woman…. Just like I heard Catherine’s voice cracking, but didn’t hear the real purpose of her sorrow….
Now its 6:15 am, its gonna be a sunny beautiful day and I won’t enjoy it because now, I’m too thoughtful want to go out. So I’ll crawl into my coffin and lay there in the quiet and comfortable space… And yes, I mean that literally.
Best wishes, from the most famously infamous blonde in the continent:
Annette Blundell.
(My First Red Dress)Victoria Anne & Catherine Marie Blundel-Adel